Dear Sir

I think the title of your blog is funnier than its contents.

Sincerely,

Yourself

Publishing

This is a document that was submitted as an introductory assignment for my English literature class this semester.

"While I'm not sure if the rest of the class would be interested to read this, my self-introduction will illuminate myself and my goals to anyone involved in English 417. My name is Mike Yanus, and like the Professor of this course, I have spent a few years dipping in and out of academic probation. Unlike the professor however, I could not single-handedly lift the short bus that carries me to school every morning and to work every afternoon. About my life's journey, college is definitely a part of it. I am in my 4^th year of college, have a junior's standing in credits, and entered as a freshman with 24 free credits from advanced placement courses. I aced the math portion of the SAT, had a great high school grade average and many honor rolls and national accolades to my name. Even in my early youth I was targeted by magnet programs and advanced curricula in order to give me the best chance to succeed. Since then, I've spent the last 3 years of my life avoiding as much work as I can possibly muster without my parents and college cutting me off.

And this summer, I was cut off.

I took a job as a customer service rep at a (somewhat) local Honda dealership. After a few pay periods of customers cussing and screaming at me for things I had no control over, I decided that my life could be better spent, considering I spend my free time salivating over Wikipedia articles about abandoned NASA projects from the 1950's and 60's. My passion for knowledge and curiosity for the secrets beyond mankind's reach are powerful, but my naivete, work ethic, and time-management follies are equally powerful. I'm back this final semester, requiring 12 credits and a grade average of 3.2 for the University to decide I'm worth keeping. I'm working 40 hours per week to pay for the adventure, and sleeping little more than that. My goals are far-reaching, and nobody expects me to succeed, but that just takes the pressure off of myself and allows me to slam-bang this cocksucker of a college ride once and for all. I'm in my darkest hour, but under the greatest of stresses come some of the greatest successes the world has seen. Or I could just fade away, and have a reasonably productive life doing things I hate with people who don't interest me. I think you'll find out very quickly whether I'm going to impress you.

And for the record, I've probably seen much of this literature in the other classes I've taken, but I never read or went so I can't do much more than name-drop Oliver Goldsmith, and Garrick. I've not heard anything about the Professor in the past either, except for his massive grunts from the gym a few towns away."

The Movie Post

I suppose after video games, I will post the movies that I make a habit of seeing constantly and often.

-The Empire Strikes Back

-Blade Runner

-2001: A Space Odyssey

-The Terminator

-Rocky

-Dumb and Dumber

-Anchorman

-Toy Story

-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

-First Blood

-Die Hard

-Happy Gilmore

This blog is getting kinda lame, huh.

fuck

fuck....oooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO

I hope this doesn't get stolen

I am going to take a nap in the student union and this will be in my backpack next to me. I hope nobody lifts it while my guard is down. College has notorious thieving problems.

A Benefit of Privacy

One benefit to privacy is that when you keep your goals to yourself, people aren't pestering you all the time about when you're trying to lose weight but you eat a candy bar, ya idiot!

Video Games I've Played More Than Once

Video games is something that I'm very passionate about in general; I spend a lot of time with them, and interact with the world differently because of what I've learned interacting with games. It's very hard to come up with a standard evaluative criteria which would enable me to rank what I think are the "best games of all time," but I can apply a more subjective but perhaps more telling attribute: which games I've played through (and probably beaten) more than once.

In the order that I think of them:

-Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

-Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

-Super Mario Bros. 3

-Super Mario 64

-Super Mario World

-Sonic 3 and Knuckles

-Final Fantasy 6

-Final Fantasy 7

-Final Fantasy 9

-Final Fantasy 10

-Metal Gear Solid

-Metal Gear Solid 2

-Pokémon Blue Version

-Pokémon Silver Version

-Halo: Combat Evolved

-Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

-Portal

-Half-Life 2

-Ninja Gaiden Black

-Chrono Trigger

-Megaman X (too hard, actually, I play it through every few years but have never managed to beat it)

On the other sides of the die, there are books or movies that have the same effect, that I re-watch for love of their timeless attributes. I've also spent an inordinate amount of time with competitive and arena and MMO type games that don't really fit the criterion because they can't really be "beaten." There are also books, movies and games that I try over and over again to get into, but simply can't because they just don't appeal to me. And isn't the universe so wonderful that everything touches people on a different level?

Without a doubt, my memory is fuzzy, my funds are limited, and my reach is not expansive, but there exists a certain special quality about a game that draws users back in order to relive the first experience. There are a lot of awesome games out there that leave you shortly after you finish, and then there are games that stick with you for life. I thought I'd share some of mine with you.

How Long Does it Take for People to Stand Outside and Think, "It's Fucking Cold"

So here I am, class cancelled, plenty to do with my study time but I don't feel like it.
That's okay, but I will be cutting this short in order to work (soon).

Some observations:

-I'm losing my patience. I'm gettin' shit done, but it's exhausting when I really don't know what's gonna happen after this semester

-I need money. I've been looking forward to a potential Vegas trip for almost a year for my best friend's 21st birthday. Things have changed though, and the bros. 4 may be 3 come May

-Yes, my dad bought a 2011 BMW M3. Yes, this month will be the 1 year anniversary of him losing his job. Can't he buy a Kia and share the love?

-I really REALLY like Elliot in the Morning. I have to start calling in, doing radio contests and events. It's really entertaining
-I spend plenty of money to keep up with the video games, but I just don't have any time anymore. I've put less than 40 hours combined into Starcraft 2, Halo Reach, Left 4 Dead 2, WoW

-I need new shoes, thermal underwear, Tom Waits tickets, a piano teacher, and about 41 hours per day (that would just about do it, I think)

-Yeah, I tried the smoking thing for about 5 months, but that was pretty dumb; luckily I didn't get addicted. Literally, everything about it is true and is as unappealing as health class made it seem. You stink, food tastes like shit, I got sick all the time, stains on clothes, I'm sure my teeth yellowed, and apparently, aromatic hydrocarbons fuck your shit when trying to run

-Had an awesome run on Sunday. I should do that, like, forever. I was jumping around and wasting my energy and all sorts of stupid shit, but it was amazing, I couldn't stop

-Waited 5 weeks to travel to the coast and bump into a girl I'm curious about. Couldn't con her into meeting up with the group until the bar 10 o'clock Saturday night. The band started at 10:02. Oh well, maybe 5 weeks from now I'll be able to chat with her for 2 MORE minutes or so (ha, fat chance, this is a dead end)

I gotta record the things I want to do with my life (privately, for reasons I might explore later), so that the inevitable time I am stuck bored 2 years from now can be well spent. Honestly, if I knew how valuable the time I didn't have would be, I wouldn't have wasted the time that was mine.