Hiding Behind Words

When a person thinks they're really smart, they like to use big words (varied vernacular, myriad vocabulary, menagerie of language!). Since I know about myself that I think I'm really intelligent (like, really smart), I, too, like to use unique syntactic structures and the multi-syllabic synonyms to satisfactorily populate them.

Fuck that!

What did I even say that couldn't be said in English? What does it offer me (my penis) that I can dress up my message in a beautiful garland of tongue and teeth Olympics? This blog post (so far) isn't actually about what I wanted to write about (my penis).

Which doesn't bring me to my main point: social problems arise when one lives in constant satire of the rest of the world.

Those who like me are few and far between, because when deciding whether or not to become my friend, people have to listen to me speak. I say outlandish things because I like the attention I get and the raised eyebrows staring my way and the one person in the room who gets that I'm joking and hurts their stomach trying to stop laughing. But everyone else in the room thinks I'm rude, shallow, misogynistic, condescending, angry, weird, stupid, and in many other ways unappealing.

I think the human creature is blessed with a lot of flaws. I say blessed, because they likely arose out of evolutionary advantage over millions of years, and are aspects of our human nature empowering us to become the dominant species on Earth. I say flaws because when someone expresses one of these characteristics in public, you wonder why this person is allowed to vote.

When everything I say is trying to mock those fun little qualities in the people I coexist with, unfortunately, I become indistinguishable from someone having those qualities themselves. To any outsider's perspective, I've acquired any such attributes, and really, who am I to decide that even though everything I say and do would make me appear retarded, that I'm actually not because my consciousness is aware that expressing such a quality is a "joke."

Really though, I think I'm more the asshole for thinking that I can escape the nature of humanity. I get a haircut and it grows into my brain, I suck at school and barely ever do my work on time, I can't shut my fucking mouth sometimes. Everyone is retarded for a slightly different reason, and I think that I shouldn't always be mocking the people around me. It makes people focus fire me about my own flaws and makes me a target and an enemy. This effect, over the long term, has made it such that I've kept only a handful of friends since high school.

Perhaps I can embrace people alongside their flaws, so that they might embrace mine and we can learn and grow together.